This month marked my official induction into the Survivorship Program. I know that phrase should be encouraging, but I didn’t ask for this membership. Never downloaded the app, never registered my email, yet here I am. In the club.
This brought so many emotions. I had to reach out to a few of my breast cancer buddies to see if everything I was feeling was normal. Was this like a prize? Do you get a trophy for “surviving”? Before the appointment I had to fill out an endless survey of questions around the quality of my life. The physical ones were easy; the mental ones more challenging. “Do you feel like yourself again?” Hell no. Things forever change.
I had a lot of questions myself. Recurrence of course is always the looming thought. After five years of Tamoxifen, what’s next? The response was sort of a reality check. She said “what I would tell you today can be totally different than what I will tell you in five years. Research and technology are changing so quickly.” The only certainty I have is that I will be taking these meds for five years. After that, it’s a crap shoot.
I am just trying desperately to find a balance between self care and just living. With being so young, I can’t afford a misstep in health. However, I did eat three Snickerdoodle cookies today and they were heavenly.
I started a Pilates Reformer class last which I think will be not only great for me strength wise, but also for whole body health and lymphatic release as well. It was the first time in quite a while that I felt in control of my body. I highly recommend it!
In closing today, one great thing about what I do for a living is having the ability to see exactly where our readers are coming in from! Hello to our friends up in Canada this past week! It’s great to see folks from all over the globe as cancer unfortunately knows no borders. Another family I know was stricken with this disease this week. We continue to fight the fight together!
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